Neil Simon's spoof of CASABLANCA and THE MALTESE FALCON, among others, tells the story of private detective Lou Peckinpaugh (Peter Falk), a man accused of killing his own partner. As Peckinpaugh follows a trail of looney characters around San Francisco, he uncovers a plot involving a dozen diamonds hidden in an egg carton. Meanwhile, he also attempts to help members of the French Resistance find safe passage to Oakland. In addition, he must assist the group in the search for their missing liquor license; it was stolen by a Member of the Nazi Party -- which just so happens to be based in Cincinnati.