Panic Button

With its assets in a sling, a panicked business group decides to solve its tax problems by creating a gargantuan entertainment flop and using it as a tax write-off. Michael Connors plays the biz group's front man and spearhead of a sham film of Romeo and Juliet that would have made The Bard put down his quill forever if he had seen it. Essential to the front man's scheme: hire a lead actor (Maurice Chevalier) whose movies only draw flies, a non-actress vamp to play Juliet (Jayne Mansfield) and a director (Akim Tamiroff) proud of his ability to guide actors in portrayals of lampshades and trees.